A new chapter of life. I knew that this change in my life was going to be a big one. To be honest, I needed it. I wanted a new start more than anything. After a tough two years and what seemed like forever stuck in the same routine everyday, I was yearning for something new.
College: a place where I could reinvent myself and create my own independent life. Little did I know it was going to be a tougher than I imagined. Don't get me wrong, it's exactly what I needed, but like anything in life, there's been ups and downs.
I didn't really know what to expect other than that college would be a place filled with so many opportunities, giving me a place to start up my career goals and start creating my adult life. I was one step closer to living out my New York City dream life.
I've met some amazing people--friends, mentors, professors. I know that Boston College is quickly becoming home and my one year here so far has proven that it's where I belong in this chapter of my life. I can already sense the potential that awaits me and I can't wait to explore all that this school has to offer me. However, I know that there will also be moments when I want to give up and surrender to the hard times.
The first few weeks of school were filled with a lot of emotions. Saying bye to so many people back home was hard and sad. When I got to school I was overwhelmed, but so glad that I immediately clicked with my roommate and was starting to meet some cool people. I experienced a lot of fun moments those first few weeks--my first time in college classes, a Pitbull concert...almost getting deserted at a Pitbull concert, and exploring Newbury Street. I also felt a tad homesick, like I wasn't fitting into the school, and I wasn't good enough to be among these people at this school. This was a big adjustment--one that would take a bit to get used to. I gave myself time and reminded myself that it's not going to feel comfortable right away.
College is something I dreamed of and knew I was going to love it. I know for some it's the same, while others struggle more with leaving their childhood behind. I just want to say that no matter what, it's change...it's something that will take time to get used to and adjust to. No one has it all figured out. No one fits in right away. No one is always happy. I've had to remind myself that as a freshman, no one is going to find their groove right away and everyone is going through similar struggles, no matter what it looks like on social media. Remember that's just a highlight reel. You never can fully understand what someone's going through, and so you need to also give yourself grace and constantly pick yourself up.
College is challenging. It's supposed to be, so I've learned to not be hard on myself. It's tough to not beat myself up sometimes, but it's important to realize that I'm still finding what works best for me. I'm still getting used to the college workload and class difficulty. It's hard, but it's interesting, so I know that I'll get the hang of it and it'll all work out. I'm also still figuring out the right balance between work and play. It's easy to focus on what's fun and be controlled by potential FOMO, but it's necessary to also focus on the priorities and responsibilities of being a student. This balance will allow me to get everything and more out of my college experience; I just need to be reminded of that once in a while.
Change is not comfortable. Change is scary. College can be scary. It's scary to me and I've been looking forward to it most of my life. It's all about what you make of it and how you treat yourself through it. Be kind to yourself. Everything will eventually fall into place, as long as you keep challenging yourself and not giving up--you'll find your people, your mentors, and even yourself. College is all about growing and that's what I'm going to focus on--through all the good and the bad. Everything I go through, I know that it'll only make me stronger. It's okay to not be okay and it's okay to be happy and it's okay to be scared. If you're scared it means you're doing something right and you're allowing yourself to grow. I can't wait to see all that BC has to offer me and my future self, and I just want to encourage anyone reading this to embrace the fear and uncomfortability of change.
XOXO, JKIM
Comments